Tantric Male Masturbation Observations
Several community members have asked me to write a blog about tantric masturbation for men. Why men in particular? Well, obviously from an energy perspective, there are a lot of similarities for both men and women. But in terms of the physical reality, the way our bodies are created, and the pleasure and orgasms we can experience, there's a lot of difference. So I write this blog from my own perspective as a man, and my experiences and learnings.
There might be many reasons why you wish to embark on a path learning more about who you and, what you are capable of, and what you can do in terms of your own energy work. From the top of my head I can think of several reasons but there may well be others I am sure...
You're a single person looking for a partner to learn more about tantra with.
You're looking to learn more about yourself and what you are capable of.
You wish to practice your own energy work without always using your partner who might be more, or less, experienced.
You're looking to use it as a way to learn and practice for reasons like lasting longer and preventing ejaculation.
You might wish to prevent ejaculation to preserve your chi energy and looking for pleasure in other ways,
You're just curious.
All of these are fine, and of course there might be other reasons. For me, personally, it is to learn more about energy work and also to learn more about my own body and recognise when I am reaching the P-O-N-R (point of no return) to prolong sex both regular normal sex and tantric sex.
So, as with all of my posts here on whatistantra.co.uk this is not the teachings of a guru or anyone qualified to talk - it's just me learning about myself and practicing with my partner. So take what I say as advice from a friend, but nothing more.
So how is tantric masturbation different to just plain old normal masturbation? Well, I’ve decided to summarise it as a series of points which, for me, spell out the difference to just having a quick ‘wank’. So, here we go…
It’s a marathon, not a sprint - take your time to enjoy
Most men, and probably a lot of women as well, treat masturbation as a rush to the end result - to get to orgasm as quickly as possible. This is because many of us have been led to think it’s a way to release our pressure and tension - but also that many of us learn, as teenagers probably, to do it so quickly that we don’t get caught. But as adults, with time on our hands, we can learn that self pleasure is something to be taken seriously, and can be done with all the time in the world. So take your time - don’t rush. Experience what you are doing, how you are making yourself feel, and relish each sensation.
It’s far better to move slowly, and prolong the experience, than it is to rush. You’ll have more fun doing it, it’ll make you feel more turned on as you go, and the end result, if and when you do get there, will be more explosive and more mind blowing.
So relax - you’ve got loads of time!
Work with your energy
As you masturbate you’ll be generating chi, or prana, in your pelvic region. You can learn to play with this energy and move it around your body to great affect. In a later blog, i’ll talk more about The Golden Circle and how to use it. But, for now, imagine energy flowing out of your pelvis like a river of power, up your body to your head and then back down to your pelvis. What do you feel?
Don’t force yourself to orgasm
Many of us treat masturbation as a means to an end - resulting in an ejaculation orgasm. But the thing is, it doesn’t have to be that. Sometimes the journey is better than the destination, and that’s something to remember here.
Ancient wisdom actually teaches us that an ejaculation orgasm for men isn’t always the only thing to do, and that the energy we expend when we cum can be a negative thing as it drains us. This is why when men orgasm we generally feel tired and want to sleep - whereas women can keep going, get more turned on, and can easily have multiple orgasms. Now, multiple orgasms for men are definitely possible, and I can tell you often through masturbation as well - but the main thing to know is that you can have a lot of fun just enjoying yourself and not rushing to an orgasm. If you have to forvc something, it’ll create stress in you, and make it less enjoyable. Relish the sensations and just keep doing things you enjoy and if/when you do cum, enjoy that even more. But don’t rush to get there. it’ll happen when it’s meant y to happen and be so much more powerful.
You’ve got a big body - learn to touch all of it
Or at least more of it than just your cock! Explore other areas. Stroke. Fondle. No one is going to mind except yourself. By doing this you’ll also learn what feels good, and what doesn’t, so can be a more instructive lover in bed with your partner.
Don’t be a one trick pony - experiment a little
We all love a partner who is experimental. Who tries out new things. Well, what better to do by yourself, when you know the partner is going to be receptive to it, than to experiment and push your own boundaries!
When you touch yourself, try to mimic thrusts you would do with a partner rather than using your hand back and forth. Angle your pelvis different to see what sensations happen. Go fast. Go slow. Stroke short. Stroke long. Focus on the head. Focus on the base. it’s all there to learn about and will make you more aware of who you are and what your body likes - which will serve you better in the bedroom.
The more you do this the more you will be confident of your own ability in with a partner, and that will make for a way better experience for everyone in the long term.
Semen is valuable - don’t waste it
This is a somewhat hard subject for some men I am sure - but effectively again we are taught by wisdom a lot older than us that our semen is a valuable, and depending on what you believe limited supply, product. And we should not waste it.
When we do ejaculate, don’t let it go to waste by wiping it into a tissue and getting rid of it.
If you’re comfortable doing it, rub it into your body, around your belly and chest. How does it make you feel? Can you feel the energy?
Chinese teachers of the past even believed that consuming your own semen either from masturbation or intercourse is extremely beneficial. Are you able to capture it in your hands and consume it’s power? Some even speak of having oral sex with a woman after you had cum inside her. But this is a blog about masturbation.
So, can you do this?
Everything is good - in moderation. Learn to hold back.
The main thing for me in terms of tantric masturbation - besides working with energy which I will come to later - is to learn where I am as I approach orgasm, and learn how to delay that, prolong the experience and last longer in bed.
Again, ancient wisdom teaches us that too much ejaculation for a man anyway is a bad thing as it reduces his ‘chi’ - the energy that we all have inside of us and can channel and use with study, called Prana in Hindi, but effectively the same thing. So basically don’t orgasm too much or you’ll drain your energy.
However, in terms of moderation a major benefit, certainly for me, has be to learn when I am approaching a state of too much excitement and nearly at the point of no return. A male orgasm is, at a certain point, a series of involuntary muscle spasms which result in an orgasm. Except the ejaculation is not the orgasms. An orgasms is generated in the brain. So they’re different. If you can avoid ejaculation, but reach mental or energetic orgasm, you can, so the theory goes, keep going - much as a woman does who absorbs chi/prana unlike us men, who put it out there.
To do this, practice masturbating yourself to about 7 out of ten on the ‘i’m going to cum’ scale. Then stop. Take a breathe. Relax. Basically calm down. Then when you have calmed down, work at it again until but this time gbet to 8 out of ten. Then 9 out of ten. And keep doing this. Some might call this edging, in the modern world, and it is a bit like that - bringing yourself to the point of orgasm, but then holding back.
What this will do is, for a start, result in a much more powerful orgasm for you when you do cum. But, also, it’ll teach you over time how to prolong intercourse itself because you’ll be able to recognise your own body and how it reacts to sexual stimulation and last longer in bed. So it’s a win win - over time. This won’t happen overnight.
When you orgasm, focus on your Sahasrara
Or ‘crown chakra’ if you prefer. Energy flows around the body during sex and when we orgasm. By focusing on the Sahasrara at the very top of your head and experience what you feel. The energy from your pelvis should be flowing up to the head. Can you experience this sensation?
I have found that by focusing on how I masturbate in a more mindful and conscious way, rather than just having a quick wank, I can do it for a very long period of time and keep constantly enjoying it and being very turned on. The ultimate orgasm is always very powerful, and I have even been able to achieve dry orgasms, and multiple male orgasms as well. Not always. And sometimes quick is best and what I want. But over time the skill does develop and you learn more and more. Sometimes I can put this into practice in bed. Sometimes I can’t. But it’s all a journey and you never get it all right.
Keep practicing is all I can say.